During a homeserver stall Element Call retries update_delayed_event every
2 s, and the host opened a new HTTP request each time: 12 pending in a
60 s stall, all landing together on recovery (404 x5, 429 x7). Share the
in-flight restart per delay id and abort it after 5 s.
Refs #318
Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 5.5 <noreply@anthropic.com>
Claude-Session: https://claude.ai/code/session_017PCb59uY3UKqDqt7B6hzd5
