fix(calls): one delayed-event restart in flight per id, with a timeout (#318)

During a homeserver stall Element Call retries update_delayed_event every
2 s, and the host opened a new HTTP request each time: 12 pending in a
60 s stall, all landing together on recovery (404 x5, 429 x7). Share the
in-flight restart per delay id and abort it after 5 s.

Refs #318

Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 5.5 <noreply@anthropic.com>
Claude-Session: https://claude.ai/code/session_017PCb59uY3UKqDqt7B6hzd5

src/app/utils/inFlight.ts

@@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
+/**
+ * Share one in-flight promise per key: callers that ask again while a request
+ * for the same key is still pending get that request instead of a new one.
+ */
+export function dedupeInFlight<T>(): (key: string, run: () => Promise<T>) => Promise<T> {
+  const pending = new Map<string, Promise<T>>();
+  return (key, run) => {
+    const existing = pending.get(key);
+    if (existing) return existing;
+    const p = run().finally(() => pending.delete(key));
+    pending.set(key, p);
+    return p;
+  };
+}